Notes on: The 5 Love Languages, Explained

'The 5 Love Languages, Explained' is an article by Brigitt Earley and was originally published on oprah.com.

Experts say knowing your love language can be the most important thing in your relationship.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of 'The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts', says learning love languages is the key to successful relationships.

There are 5 love languages, and each describe a way people express love. Knowing which love language you and your partner respond to can enable you to better understand each other and communicate with each other.

The five love languages are:

• Words of Affirmation. These are compliments, expressions of gratitude, and other verbal ways to show affection and care. Insults can be particularly upsetting to people who favour words of affirmation.

• Gifts. These can be tangible, like a bouquet of flowers, and intangible, like watching her favourite show on TV with her. They are items or gestures that make you feel appreciated or noticed. The absence of these types of gestures or a missed special occasion can be hurtful for people who value gifts to show love.

• Acts of Service. These are favours you do for your partner to be kind and helpful, like allowing them to sleep in while you take care of the kids. A lack of support is hurtful to someone who pays attention to acts of service.

• Quality Time. This is when you both engage in an activity together, to spend quality time, like playing a board game with each other with the TV off. A partner who is distracted and not present is damaging to someone who strongly values quality time.

• Physical Touch. This can be sex, but it can also be simply holding hands, or getting a back rub, anything that makes you feel physically connected. A lack of physical touch can make some people feel distant in their relationship.

Here's how to identify your love language.

If we do not understand our and our partners love language then we risk entering a vicious cycle of resentment that can end relationships. By understanding each other's love language you will both be better equipped to handle each others emotional needs.

The first step is to ask yourself, 'How do I show affection when I want to?'. Often the way you express love shows the way you also like to receive it. Next, think about what makes you feel the most loved and cared for. Think about your past relationships too.

For some, after some deep reflection, it becomes obvious what their love language is, but for others, there may be examples from several love languages that apply to them. You can also take this short quiz by 5lovelangauges.com to help you identify what your dominant love language is.

Do not forget to share yours with your partner and ask them to think about theirs as well (although you may also be able to guess, it is better to check). Knowing each others' love language will help ensure your ways of communicating and receiving affection do not get lost in translation.