Notes on: Cultivating Positive Emotions With Others

'Cultivating Happiness With Others' is taken from the course 'Managing Happiness' by Arthur Brooks on edX.org.

The Power of Other People

Positive psychology has a lot of references to how important it is for someone to feel respected and cared for, and how much giving and receiving from others impacts our quality of life as well, and these things cannot happen without other people.

It doesn't matter where you are from, or how you were brought up, we all have a need to be loved and feel connected on a deep level with others.

Not only do people who are happier tend to engage in things that make them happy, but they also have a positive influence on others to live well too.

The sense of living well for ourselves and for others, connects us and helps us feel united with all humanity. Happiness is not a zero-sum game. We can all win, and by helping others win, we win ourselves.

Others and Oxytocin

Oxytocin is the hormone associated with the feelings of love and closeness of others. Research has shown that oxytocin is released in our body with the following three behaviours:

1. Asking others sincere questions. When you are engaged in a sincere conversation and asking genuine, thoughtful questions then you are deeply connected to the other person.

2. Physical touch (that is appropriate and consensual). This does not necessarily have to be romantic touch, nor does it have to come from a human, but a hug or even a reassuring hand can have huge impacts on someones mood.

3. Eye contact. This also does not necessarily be with someone that you are attracted to, and again, it doesn't necessarily have to be with a human, but when we make eye contact we are showing we are focusing on each other and that creates a deeper connection.

Indeed having a pet, like a cat or dog, can help release oxytocin as well. Petting your dog or cat for as little as 20 seconds, or even making eye contact with them will release oxytocin and make you feel good.