Notes on: Why saying "thank you" makes it twice as likely for people to help you next time.
- Jon Vassallo
- Nov 29, 2022
- 2 min read
These notes are taken from the article 'Doing This Makes People Twice as Likely to Help You,' an article by Minda Zetlin and was originally published on inc.com.
The 'Thank You' Study
Adam Grant, Wharton psychologist, and Francesca Gino, a professor at Harvard Business School, did a study to show just how impactful the words 'thank you' are, especially when influencing people to help another time.
In the study researchers asked people to help a student improve a job letter. In some cases, they responded simply acknowledging receipt of the feedback, and in other cases they responded with, "Thank you so much! I am really grateful."
A few days later the students asked for help again. The group that simply acknowledged the feedback only got 32% of people to help again, whereas the group who expressed gratitude got 66% of people to help a second time. That is more than double the impact.
Why is "thank you" so powerful?
Of course there is the obvious, that expressing gratitude makes the other person feel good about themselves and feel valued, but the power doesn't come from a personal feeling.
Thanking people makes them feel more connected to the people around them and feel more valued socially. The connection to the community is the driving force behind gratitude.
In the second phase of the study by Grant and Gino, instead of the same student asking for help, they request for help came from a different student all together. In this case, they had no personal connection to the second requester, as they hadn't interacted before, but even still they were more than twice as likely to give help. This further shows that the effects of gratitude are less personal and more communal.
Helping Your Company or Team Grow
If you are a manager or an entrepreneur, you can create a culture of gratitude that will foster better collaboration and a strong sense of unity. As people get into the habit of thanking others for help, they are making it more likely to help someone else in the future and you get a compounding effect that will help everyone grow.
Get into the habit of saying thank you when you get help and watch it pay dividends in the future.
Was just talking about this with someone this week. People, especially women, often feel bad about asking for help or receive it. “I’m sorry I took so much of your time. I feel bad that you gave that to me/that I talked about my issues and you listened” and so on. My response to that person was: “Change your vocabulary. Instead of feeling bad, say ‘thank you for helping me.’ then we both feel good!” The person receiving help feels gratitude and the person offering help feels appreciation for their contribution and will want to help again. Gratitude is a powerful connector between both parties.